25. Radiotherapy
After meeting the consultant and finding out the results from the surgery I had an appointment with the oncologist. He also told me the great news from the surgery, he was also delighted with the outcome. But no sooner had we finished that conversation than we moved onto talk about the next step, radiotherapy. The plan was for this to happen within the next few weeks. The oncologist talked through the potential side effects. At this stage I didn’t have any more questions to ask, I was happy to do what was needed. I was happy to sign the form today giving my consent to proceed. At this stage I just trusted everything they were suggesting and doing.
As with everything it wasn’t just a matter of turning up and having the radiotherapy done. There was planning and pre-procedure procedures. This involved a CT scan and a pre-education session. I managed to avoid the pre-education session and I was told I had been given all the information in the discussion with the oncologist so it wasn’t necessary, plus I was given the information again at my first radiotherapy session. This happened in early December, three weeks after my surgery, just to give you a time frame of how quickly everything happened. It also meant you didn’t have much time to think or to recover because you are no sooner finished one part of the treatment, until you are onto the next part.
My sister brought me to the planning appointments for radiotherapy. Starting with the CT scan. This was done to plan the radiotherapy treatment, where and how much. The process was quick and was so exact, measuring precisely where the machine was to be lined up to on my body for the treatment. All was m measured down to millimeters. I was given three tattoos on my body, pin size dots which were markers used to line up the radiotherapy machine when I was due to receive the actual treatment. After chemo and surgery this all seemed very straightforward. It was a way of life now; hospitals and appointments.
Radiotherapy takes place daily over a period of time, for me I was to receive the treatment for a week. It was an option to stay in Derry for the time of the treatment. Living so far away from Derry I thought this was the best thing to do. It was only five days. I wasn’t at all nervous about the radiotherapy, it was just another thing that had to be done. I was told I could be called at any time for the radiotherapy treatment to begin, so I just had to be prepared.
Beautiful Bella - Christmas Day
(Picture credit: my niece)
I was given a bit of time to prepare as I received a letter before Christmas to let me know I would receive the treatment at the beginning of the New Year. I’m not a Christmas or New Year person, which means I don’t put any significance on them as a time in the year, so it was irrelevant to me when the treatment started. Nonetheless my sister, mum, dad and Paschal, and of course the Bella of the ball, made Christmas special for me. We had a lovely quiet day, with no stress. I hadn’t drank any wine since the treatment started, but on Christmas day I enjoyed a couple of glasses. While I enjoyed them, it made me realise I didn’t miss it. New Year then came and went, nothing of real significance, only to say that was the end of one heck of a year, let’s just move on and take what we are handed in the year ahead.
At that stage I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. At the time I knew I was exhausted, but I also didn’t exactly see to what extent. Looking back I can see the toll it was all taking on me, however I still tried to remain positive because I still had a long road ahead of me. While I wasn’t overly concerned about the radiotherapy, it did linger at the back of my mind. All the things I had read about it, the side effects experienced by some people and I wondered the potential impact on me. Nonetheless I was glad to receive it as I wanted to make sure, in as much as I could that the cancer was gone.
On the first day of radio Paschal drove me to Derry. The whole set up for radiotherapy was very different to everything do far. I think this is where the money might be spent! The waiting room was quieter, we didn’t have to wear our face masks here. I guess people receiving radio where at a different stage in their treatment, or in their cancer diagnosis. While I wasn’t nervous about receiving radiotherapy I was very emotional. I can’t explain why, I thought at the time it was because the intense treatment was coming to the end, however I was still going to be on the three week threadmill as I was continuing to receive Herceptin (targeted treatment). Looking back I think it was moreso because I was exhausted and tired, but I still felt I had to put on a brave face and fight.
Before entering the area for radiotherapy I given information about what was going to happen. Afterwards we sat and waited before I was brought down to a cubicle where I was told to change and wait for a knock at the door to let me know when to come out. I sat in this cubicle for what seemed like 5 mins, waiting. There was a mirror in front of me and I just sat looking at myself thinking how odd it was to wait for a knock on the door to be released! It felt quite surreal, as if I was in a parallel universe.
A short time later I was brought into the radiotherapy room. It was a big open room with a big machine, and TV screens. I had to lie down and the radiologists got everything organised fixing me in line with the area of my tattoos. This took a few minutes and once lined up the radiologists left me in the room on my own and I had to just lie still as the machine did it's thing moving around my body, I really didn’t know what it was doing. There was music playing, the song was Oasis Wonderwall. This brought me right back to my Manchester days triggering memories of a night out and a DJ starting his set with Oasis Wonderwall, an amazing feeling then and a great memory for now. The session lasted about 10mins and I was out and done.
It was over so fast and I didn’t feel a thing, it was a very bizarre experience. It was explained that I might have a burning feeling following the treatment and was given a gel to apply to moisturise and reduce the feeling of burning. I lathered this on every day and sat waiting for it to dry, which I think helped as I didn’t really experience the burning to a great degree. I did exactly as I was told at every stage, and whatever else I could to make this as bearable as possible.
Radio week - look at how much my hair had grown!
This was repeated every day of the week. As this treatment was administered on a daily basis I saw the same faces throughout the week. I got chatting to a couple, also up from Fermanagh. It was the husband who was attending for treatment. Toward the end of the week as we became familiar with seeing each other we got chatting. One of the highlights of radiotherapy was this couple brought their dog into the waiting room in a bag with them. It was such a tiny dog, and very well behaved, that I didn’t realise it was in the waiting room until I was told about it. I just thought there would be no way I could bring Bella, they’d know within seconds she was there.
I had decided that after the radiotherapy I would ring the bell! I was emotional thinking about that all week. I think there was a fear that my treatment and involvement with Altnagelvin was being pared back. However, on the other hand I was grateful it wasn’t an abrupt end and I was able to wean myself away from the hospital and appointments over the course of the next six months.
