One minute I was recovering from surgery trying to stop Bella from launching herself at my dressing and the next I was opening a card from a member of the Murder Capital. Kindness seemed to arrive from everywhere during those weeks. Sometimes the right words arrive at the right time.

The surgery was over before I knew it had even begun. Waking up brought relief, gratitude, unexpected emotions and a new perspective on life and death. From heated blankets and compression socks, to smurf-blue side effects and the kindness of nurses. This chapter is about recovery, kindness and learning to see things differently on the other side of surgery.

The day arrived! A truthful, emotional look at the morning of my breast cancer surgery. I didn’t know what to expect, overwhelmed with emotion and nerves. I wanted my body to be rid of the cancer, I knew this was necessary but I couldn’t help but feel anxious. Here I talk about the fear, the kindness, the unexpected humour, and the surreal moments leading up to going under.

In this chapter, I reflect on one of the biggest decisions of my cancer journey, choosing between a mastectomy and breast-conserving surgery with reconstruction. Alongside the uncertainty of surgery planning, I also reached an important personal milestone: turning 50. Between hospital appointments, pre-surgery preparation, birthday reflections, and finding small moments of joy with family, Bella, and a walk at Rougey, this chapter captures the strange balance of ordinary life continuing in the middle of cancer treatment.

Facing a choice between a lumpectomy or mastectomy, I navigated uncertainty, exhaustion and the pressure of making a decision that only I could make.

Big decisions! They don’t get much bigger than this!

Should I have a lumpectomy or mastectomy? A raw, honest reflection on the moment surgery became real and the emotional weight of making a life-changing decision.

Three chemo sessions left. That was the number I held onto. I had already made it through three, so surely I could make it through three more. At that stage I wasn’t thinking too far ahead; I was just trying to get through each treatment as it came. Some days I could laugh about it all, other days were harder. What I found most difficult to grasp during treatment was that I was actually a cancer patient. In my head I kept telling myself I wasn’t sick, it was just the chemo making me feel that way. Looking back now, I realise how much my body was going through.

The first milestone of treatment. They couldn’t see the tumour. What a result. Get in there!

When I lost my hair during cancer treatment a 10-year-old called me a rock star. In the middle of chemo, pink outfits and bald days, it was childhood honesty, not adult reassurance, that gave me confidence to own it.

The reality of the impacts of chemo were beginning to set in. I learned that strength isn’t always about fighting. Sometimes it’s about learning when to stop.

Never underestimate people’s kinds words and actions, they helped me remain positive and strong throughout treatment.

Deciding to shave my head was one thing, but then going out in public was another. How did I manage this decision and was it the right one for me?

This is about being seen, managing fear and learning to live openly during treatment.

Each day brought something new! I knew hair loss was coming, I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. This is the day it started and the moment I chose to take control.

The days after my first chemo were harder than I expected. Here I share what recovery really felt like; the side effects, the fatigue and the first time I had to say no and listen to my body. What really happens in the days after chemo and how do you know when to stop pushing yourself?

Hair we go! Chemo Day One was a mix of fear, kindness and the unknown. From arriving at the Cancer Centre to receiving my first treatment this post shares what it was really like; practically and emotionally.

What happens at a pre-chemo appointment? I share my experience of pre-chemotherapy education, medications, side effects and how I prepared before treatment began.

A person I had never met was instantly one of the people my life depended upon to get better. There was no question about whether I trusted him, I just did!

Don’t take it for granted. Life changes in a flash!

The moment after hearing my breast cancer treatment plan; decisions, openness and letting others share the news. This is how I handled it.

Whatever was going to happen I just had to accept and trust what I was being told.

One word changed everything! How does someone respond? The drive home, the shock the fear; and still life kept moving.